As he always does, Gerry woke me up Wednesday morning to say good-bye before leaving for work. He changed the routine up a tad however, by having the nerve to ask me a question- (come on now, he knows I need a solid 45 minutes of silence in which to wander around the house aimlessly before I'm capable of speech!) still, he asks me, "Do you know what day it is?" My groggy mind fumbles around and then it hits me, it's our anniversary. Year 26 to be exact.
Somewhere around year 12 or 15 we stopped exchanging presents, around year 18 or 20 we were still exchanging cards and having a dinner out, but in the last couple of years the card and dinner thing have kind of crept out the door. We seem to be busier now than ever and happier. Truth is, I've never been much for this whole official celebration thing -be it birthday, wedding or whathaveyou. Does it tell you something about me that Halloween is my favorite holiday --no gifts- just cool decorations and candy!!! and costumes!!!!! I have way more Halloween decorations than I do Christmas ones.)
So share with me, how you "do" special event days - major extravaganza or barely notice?
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Congratulations Mary Jane! 26 years is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteWhen Tim and I lived in the US, we had young kids, so Christmas and Halloween were really great fun times, and we went whole hog. The only other event we celebrated was our anniversary, but that was because we handed the kids over to a grandparent and it was really the only time the two of us got out alone. And we always spent it the same way--a dinner at the Tidewater cafe on the Susquehana. We always got a seat outside no matter how hot it was and then took a walk through along the river. I really miss those times because I love the water so much. As much as I explain how nice it is to live on the river here, there is no comparison. Most people wouldn't even bother to call this a river and when I think about the beautiful rivers back home that we used to sail on, it's hard to get excited about our little "river with no water" (yes, that is the river's name.)
Now that we are here and the kids are grown, we really don't celebrate any holidays. We try to go away skiing or somewhere for Xmas (but the kids do like us to decorate and they still want to get presents) and we do decorate for Halloween, but birthdays, anniversarys, etc, when I can remember them, we usually just have a special dinner and that's it.
And I hate things like Mother's Day and Father's Day and Valentine's Day because I see them as fake holidays that the candy and card industry have forced upon us. Yes, I know, so are the modern versions of Christmas and Halloween, but that's my little bit of hypocrisy, I guess.
Linda
I love celebrations--even the fake ones. I love the special planning, the coming together, the recognition of who's important in our lives.
ReplyDeleteLinda and the women I teach at the Hadano English Society, whome I call "My Ladies," gave me a surprise birthday party last September, and it was one of the great events of my life! I had never had a surprise party in my entire life, and My Ladies had never been to one--much less planned one at a moment's notice. They were so pleased with themselves, and I was so pleased with everyone. It was one of the first times I felt like I "belonged" in Hadano.
Jon and I are going to celebrate our 30th anniversary this August, and we're planning a trip to Scotland to attend the International Festival. For our 25th anniversary, we went to Paris. We celebrate the big ones in a big way! However, we hardly ever give presents to each other on these special occasions. The presents never come up to the job. We usually plan some come of happening. I remember for our 7th anniversary we were just starting graduate school in Illinois and were very poor students, so we went to Steak 'N Shake in Urbana, Illinois. That, too, was a great event. Luckily for us, we can get that "commemorative feeling" through an ordinary undertaking. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to Scotland! Jocelyn
Sorry, should've proofread more closely!
ReplyDeleteBirthdays and holidays are a big deal to me. I think of birthdays as the one day all year that's all about the celebrant. Whether it's my own birthday or that of a friend or family member, I love celebrating that one person. Particularly as we get older, there are few occasions to celebrate ourselves and I think birthdays are a great excuse to do that. I use my own birthday to reflect back on the past year and think of what I want the next year to bring - kind of like my own personal New Year's when I make resolutions, set goals, give thanks for the year that's passed.
ReplyDeleteI love Thanksgiving and Christmas still too, though mainly because it brings time with family, which I don't get much of since I live so far from them all. I love giving gifts but the "getting" isn't so important anymore. It's more about spending time with people I love and being grateful for them.
You know, Trish, one of the ways your love of birthday's and gift-giving manifests itself is in your acute sense of the perfect gift for a person. I remember when we worked together, you always put a lot of thought into what to get and found the perfect thing. Often, you even made something for that person. Probably your family and friends have already told you that, but I just wanted you to know that such gestures haven't gone unnoticed.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Thanks, Linda!
ReplyDeleteJocelyn, are you orginally from Illinois? (That's where I was born, which is why I ask.) I love the way you celebrate- I think giving someone an experience is so much better than a traditional gift (not that I'd ever refuse a present : )
ReplyDeleteMJ, I'm not originally from Illinois. I'm from South Louisiana, though right now we're living in Hadano, Japan. We spent 9 years in Illinois while my husband, Jon, and I did our graduate degrees. I have very, very fond memories of Urbana. Where were you born?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I don't refuse presents, either! And every time I go back to the US, I bring a trunkload of omiyage. I love giving presents. It's funny that Jon and I don't do it with each other so much. It just seems like too much pressure on those special occasions. We do buy little gifts for each other throughout the year, when we see something the other person might like. I should say, though, that no special occasion goes by us without a bottle of champagne! Even after the Steak N Shake, we drank a bottle of champagne!